James Meisler

Neil E. Meisler

May 11, 1947 - March 4, 2009

Rest in Peace

A favorite riddle of mine:

A son and father get in a car accident. They are rushed to two different hospitals. The son goes to get operated on and the surgeon says , “This is my son!” Who is the surgeon?

The reason I like this riddle so much is that it plays on the assumptions and stereotypes we make about gender roles.  This riddle also shows up in Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink.  Another answer I like is, “The boy is the son of  same-sexed parents.”  That way, we continue breaking common assumptions about gender roles and defy the status quo further…of course, we’re still making gender assumptions about surgeons.

Another riddle:

“Before you are two roads.  One road leads to the Land of Truth and one leads to the Land of Liars.  Each road is attended by a foot soldier.  The soldier from the Land of Truth will only tell the truth.  The soldier from the Land of Lies will only tell lies.  Given only one question, how do you ask the soldiers which way is the way to the Land of Truth?”

The answer to this one is fun: you ask one of them what the other would say.

If you had asked the one telling the truth he would tell say, “He would tell you to pick his road”

If you  had asked the one who lies, he would tell say, “He would tell you to pick my road”

Then you pick the other road because you know no matter what you’re being told,you are being lied to.  This method requires, at first, a lot of thinking.  However, there’s an easier solution, and I stole this from Werner Herzog’s “Kaspar Hauser.”  You ask one of them, “Are you a tree frog?”  Riddle solved.

1.  Zombie Survival Training

This is a blog by Melissa Ebbe, who has taken an academic approach to Zombie survival.  Her explanation for her interest is very compelling; I’ll quote it because paraphrasing doesn’t do justice:

Like Zombies?!?

One question I often hear is, “Why do you like zombies?” I can only presume this question is based on the assumption that I like them because I talk about them so much. Anyone who spends any amount of time with me knows that I hate zombies. Perhaps a better question would be, “Why do you spend so much of your time on zombies?” with the “instead of other monsters” being left unsaid.

Not to discredit other monsters, except that is exactly what I’m about to do; other monsters are not real. This is not to say that they don’t represent interesting cultural and social phenomena (which zombies can also represent). However, the vampire/werewolf/mutant threat is non-existent. Even if they do exist (which they don’t) they hardly represent a global threat. Because of the selective process necessary to pass on these particular “monster traits”, the possibility of a vampire (or any other fictitious monster) outbreak and consequent destruction of the human race are a statistical impossibility.

The popular retort to this is, “well there obviously aren’t any zombies because there haven’t been any large scale zombie infestations.” Even if the person disregards the evidence towards the end of The Zombie Survival Guide, the reason zombies haven’t decimated the earth is because of dedicated individuals like myself. So the correct answer to “Why do you like zombies?” is “I HATE zombies, and you should be grateful!

2. Zombie Infection Simulation

For those who are interested in epidemiology,  this shows you how quickly zombification can occur in a heavily populated area.  The simulation allows you to control certain factors.  Building topography, speed of simulation, number of civilians, etc.  Some people have added to it.  The moral of this sim is don’t go outside when people are panicking

Courtesy of NPR, a current events song, “Times is Hard” by Loudon Wainwright III. LGT the song and lyrics at NPR

After George W. Bush’s demonstration of his cat-like reflexes while ducking a shoe hurled at him by Iraqi journalist Muntadar al-Zeidi, a series of similar incidents have occurred.  In Iraqi culture (and elsewhere in the Arab world), throwing one’s shoe or slapping another person with a shoe is a grave insult (1).  In the rest of the world, however, it’s hilarious.

Monday, 2 February 2008 -  At Cambridge University, an unnamed man hurled a shoe at Chinese Prime Minister Wen Jiabao.  The Miscellaneous Task impersonator then yelled  “dictator” and asked the crowd, “how can this university prostitute itself with this dictator here, how can you listen…to him unchallenged.”

The University gave this statement

“[We] are very sorry that the incident happened and the person will be dealt with according to law. The university is a place for discussion, debate and considered argument, not for shoe throwing.”

Wednesday 4 February 2008 - At Stockholm University, Israeli ambassador Benny Dagan was the target of a shoe and a couple of books thrown at him in protest of Israeli military actions against Palestine.

I’m sure this is a trend that will continue, and I’ll post here whenever it happens.

In honor of our new president and his vow to encourage bipartisan cooperation, here are a few congressional actions that involved reaching across the aisle.

1. Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Act

PRWORA was introduced by Republican Florida congressman Clay Shaw.  It was the cornerstone of the Republican majorities “Contract With America.”  One of the signature pieces of legislation of the Clinton Administration, it changed the nation’s welfare system dramatically.

In addition to putting a five-year limit on receiving assistance, it included money for the creation of jobs, programs to transition individuals from welfare to work, and childcare services for working mothers.

The bill passed largely on party lines having only 33 “Aye” votes from Democrats and only 4 “Nay” votes from Republicans in the house and 10 and 1 respectively in the Senate .   However, this vote is considered to be bipartisan due to the fact that Bill Clinton signed the act into Law despite the bill’s unpopularity among congressional Democrats.

2.  Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act of 2002 (McCain-Feingold)

The BCRA was introduced by Senators John McCain (R-AZ) and Russ Feingold (D-WI).  Its goal was to add transparency and accountability to federal campaigns and to reduce the impact of special interest groups in elections, especially “soft money” campaign contributions.

The Senate vote was split 60/40, with mostly Democrats voting “Aye”  In the Senate, it only received 11 GOP “Ayes” and 2 Dem. “Neas”.  In the House, it received 41 GOP “Ayes” and 12 Democrat “Neas”

President Bush signed the bill into law in March, 2002 though with some reservations

“I also have reservations about the constitutionality of the broad ban on issue advertising.” however, he added,  “I expect that the courts will resolve these legitimate legal questions as appropriate under the law.”

In two Supreme Court cases (McConnell vs. FEC and FEC vs. Wisconsin Right to Life, Inc.), the issues of the ban on issue advertising close to elections was resolved.

3. State Children’s Health Insurance Program

SCHIP was designed to match state funds for programs that provide health care for impoverished children and those whose parents make too much money to qualify for Medicaid, but not enough for private insurance.  It was originally created by Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-MA) and Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah).  One of its signature aspects is its use of increased cigarette taxes to provide funding.  The original bill passed with a partisan split in the House and with unanimous support in the Senate.

When SCHIP came up for reauthorization in 2007, it passed with only 45 “Nay” votes (all Republican) in the House and 38 Republican “Nays” in the Senate.  President Bush vetoed the bill in October 2007, but the House was unable to get enough votes in order to override the veto.

In 2009, the House and Senate both passed the reauthorization and it was signed by President Obama.  The new reauthorization removed a rule that prohibits children of legal immigrants from receiving health under SCHIP care for five years.

4. TRICARE Reserve Select coverage for Reservists

The TRS plan created a premium-based insurance plan for otherwise uninsured members of the US military reserves.  Though the program does have a cost for its members, they government pays 72% of the premium.  The legislation succeeded in part do to the collaboration of Senators Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina), Hillary Clinton (D-New York), Mike DeWine (R-Ohio), and Patrick Leahy (D-Vermont)

Like most sentient carbon based life forms, my brain is wired to keep itself alive.  So, in general I fear death.  It’s a healthy fear and it keeps me in line.  But the one thing I fear more than death is undeath.  Not particularly mine, but that of others–which I guess, in turn would lead to mine without preparation.  I’ve spend the past five years or so thinking a lot about how I might try to survive during a Zombie Apocalypse.  Originally, my attention was  aroused by video games and movies.  But a recent series of events has gotten me more concerned.  First was this Cracked article:

Now, these concerns aren’t wholly related to an attack by the undead, but that is the worst-case scenario.  A total financial collapse, hurricane, tornado, nuclear explosion, or some other anarchy-inducing catastrophe could increase my need to survive in a situation far removed my cubicle dwelling white collar existence(1).   Anyway: Zombies.  There are a number of resources I’m consulting.

1. Zombie Survival and Defense Wiki

This is a useful searchable wiki, however unlike a wiki using the Mediawiki format, I don’t think the entire thing could be downloaded.  Luckily, there are other hard copy resources.

2. Zombie Survival Guide

It’s a parody of other survival guides, but it’s enough to get you on the right track.  I wouldn’t use this as an actual reference, of course.

3. United States Army Field Manual

The quintessential survival manual.  How to make weapons and tools, build shelter, find food, and stay alive in various environments and situations.  PDF version available.

4. The survival Store

Source for water treatment, food prep., first aid, etc.  Now, the sight doesn’t specifically mention zombie attacks, their statement of purpose leads me to believe that as a client, I will be well prepared:

We truly operate the internet’s largest family of safety, survival, preparedness and health & wellness companies dedicated to serving public, professional and governmental needs. Our main goal has been to offer a vast selection of products to help bring all those in need to a high level of readiness that will help them cope with most any crisis that may befall them.

1. Incidentally, there is a piece in last year’s The Best American Nonrequired Reading called “Diary of the Living Dead or: Are You There God? It’s Me Also, a Bunch of Zombies” by jake Swearingen.  About someone trapped in an office during a zombie attack.  Buy the book or read it here.

From Yahoo/Politico:

Joe the Plumber, who isn’t a plumber and whose name isn’t actually Joe, in addtion to being a war corespondant is the guest of honor at this week’s Conservative Working Group meeting.  The CWG is an invitation-only group of conservative staffers and lobbyists who discuss short-term and long-term senate strategies.  In about 5 minutes he will speaking, most likely, about his views on the Senate version of the Economic Stimulus Package.  His invitation is, no doubt, part of a series of lectures and colloquia entitled, “Methods and Strategies to make the GOP more Gimmicky.”

Update:

It’s always scary when Onion articles come true:

Part 1 in a depressingly unending series:

From Amnesty International

From The Sudan Tribune

Okot Odhiambo, a senior leader of the Ugandan rebel group Lord’s Resistance Army has promised to surrender himself to Ugandan authorities and defect from the LRA, an armed rebel group formed in 1987 bent on creating a theocracy.  Its founder, Joseph Koney, believes himself a spiritual medium.  The LRA is responsible for numerous human rights violations including enlisting children to engage in hostility, rape, sexual slavery, murder and mutilation.

Obhiambo, who has been described as the most bitter of the group leaders, is said to have killed the most people.  The International Criminal Court issued warrants for his and other members’ arrests in 2005, but LRA leaders vowed not to surrender unless they are granted immunity from prosecution.  His arrest comes brings relief to nearly 2 million displaced Ugandans and the families of the more than 10,000 killed in the conflict.  However, there is concern whether he will be handed over to the ICC for prosecution.  Obhiambo has offered to defect if he is granted immunity from ICC proceedings.

Amnesty International has criticized the International Organization for Migration for facilitating the transfer of Obhiambo back to Kampala, Uganda instead of turning him over to the ICC for prosecution.

Ugandan officials believe they are close to apprehending Koney.

At 2:00 p.m. Thursday May 15, I sat in an interview room on the 11th floor of a high-rise near O’Hare in the first job interview after graduation.  I interviewed with a recruiter and a sales manager for an Account Executive position at Careerbuilder.  I felt the the interview went so-so, but a few days later, I received the following email: 

Dear James,

Thank you for interviewing with us at CareerBuilder.com. Your background and experience are impressive and we were fortunate to see a number of qualified candidates. However, the position has been filled with an individual that more closely matches our needs. Best wishes for success in your job search and thank you for consideringCareerBuilder.com as a potential employer. 

CareerBuilder.com is a rapidly expanding company; we will keep your resume active and contact you should a position requiring your background and skill set become available. We appreciate you using the CareerBuilder.com website for your job search and hope you continue to do so in the future.

Sincerely,

Corporate Recruiting Team

careerbuilder.com

At first I was pretty upset.  Just a few days prior, I sat in a room full of other graduates as we all received a big pat on the back for the last few years of hard work and student loans.  It took me three months to find a job, and in the end, I took a temporary position from Kelly services to get my foot in the door of a major IT outsourcing firm.  In September, we were acquired by an even larger company.  I’m currently on the tail end of securing a permanent position.

 Though the integration made national news with our new parent company cancelled nearly 25,000 jobs, since I work on a government contract, most of positions in our account were safe.     Overall, even though the nature of my job isn’t great, I’m beginning to realize that as the economy shrinks, I’m more and more fortunate.  The other day I came across several articles about lay-offs at Careerbuilder.   These articles are from back in December, but I they still made me feel like I dodged a bullet.  More and more, I’m seeing how lucky I actually am to be in a state that is still managing to expand despite the economic hardships.  Our auto industry is doing relatively well, and even without Obama’s stimulus package, there are lots of job and infrastructure projects underway.  Anyway, while I won’t actually send it (who knows if my interviewers still work there?), I thought I’d write a little thank you letter to the recruiter who invited me to Chicago for an interview.

Dear Ms. Thornton,

Good afternoon.  You probably don’t remember me.  I interviewed for a job with you and John, one of your sales managers back in May.  The interview was a great experience for me, and it’s too bad that we couldn’t do business together.  I think I would have greatly enjoyed living and working in great city like Chicago.  You’ll be glad to know that even though I ended up moving to a city very much unlike Chicago, I did manage to find a job.  No hard feelings, though.  I’m actually writing to thank you for not hiring me.

I saw some discouraging news on the Internet from a few weeks ago.  Tough break on those 300-400 layoffs.  CB lost, what, 20% of its work force? Man.  That’s rough.  It really would have been difficult for me to have a 1/5 chance of losing my job while living in a city as expensive as Chicago.  Doubly so if I were only a few months into an entry level job. Not getting a job at your company is the best thing that’s happened for my career.  While I’m technically still a contractor, my position is protected by two contractual agreements.  One between the government client we serve and the company I contract for and one between that company and the agency who represents me.  I wish you and your parent company’s dying industry the best of luck in all of your future endeavors and hope to see you on the other side of this economic crisis.

Sincerely,

James Gonzales-Meisler